Portraits Can Say More than a Thousand Words
by minerva's-kitten
Summary: Summary: Even wizarding portraits can go crazy. What happens when the most prized one in the wizarding world does?


_**A/n: A little ramble story. I read something similar on here and though I'd take a crack. No infringement intended!!  
Disclaimer I own nothing.  
Summary: Some portraits are just insane. This is one of them.**_

_**Portraits Can Say More Than a Thousand Words**_

No matter where you go; portraits can come in all shapes and sizes. But while muggle paintings remain stationary, the occupants of wizarding paintings can move about and talk.

For most people this is seen as friendly, but for the headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry it's seen as a nuisance.

This problem is due to the fact that amongst all of the portraits of his former predecessors there is one of a well known family that can cause the whole of the wizarding world to be on eggshells.

The portrait in his office is just one of six all placed in the most esteemed places of honor.

One at Hogwarts, one in the Minister's office, on in the Saint Mungo's waiting room, and the other three were in the homes of the heroes of the wizarding world.

Which are the Potter, Weasley, and Snape homes.

The portraits are of a family that had been a beacon of hope, love, and light for more than seventy years till they were all senselessly killed.

The family had been on one of the few vacations they were able to get when a drunken muggle crashed into their car killing the mother and two daughters instantly and placing the father and son in a coma. They too died three days after the accident.

The portraits were commissioned two days after their funerals.

In truth the family was quite pleasant and helpful to all that came for their advice; their wisdom was invaluable.

But not everyone can always be on top and every once in a while the residences could get restless and go a little……crazy.

This is precisely why everyone in the school, Ministry, and many other places were now on pins and needles waiting for their role models to comeback to their senses.

"Can you please get them to shut up," Professor Black pleaded as Headmaster Snape walked into his office?

"We can here you, you know," came a rather annoyed female voice from the other side of the room.

"Yes I think it very rude you act like were not here," snapped another female voice from a different picture.

"Well I for one am happy these people are finally ignoring you two," sneered a young male voice.

"Where are their parents," Snape asked looking at the empty frame behind his desk.

It was a large golden frame; inside where there was supposed to be a family of five there was only two chintz chairs, one green the other purple, set in front of the Hogwarts crest.

"One's with Dippit and the other is with Dylis," replied an elderly wizard name Woolsworth.

"Yes, and I refuse to set foot back in that painting with him," screeched the voice of Minerva Dumbledore.

"And if she refuses we refuse," chorused the girls.

"Then that's fine by us," replied the young male.

"What's all this about anyway," Snape asked confused while sitting at his desk?

"The same thing it was about last time," Pheineas sighed.

"Utter silliness," agreed Quincy.

"It's not silly!"

"It's perfectly logical for mum to be angry." The girls said defending their mother.

"Can someone please tell me why this bothers her so much," Snape asked to no one in particular?

"They know exactly why it bothers me," Minerva grumbled.

"I'm afraid I have to agree. I don't see why it makes you so mad, Min," replied Albus.

"You do too you barmy old codger and don't call me Min," she snapped.

"Stubborn mule!"

"Eccentric bird!"

"Stuck up wench!"

"Forgetful nitwit!"

"She's got him now," laughed one of the girls.

"Shows what you know you snobbish know-it-alls," snipped the boy.

"Arrogant prick!"

"Holier than though snitch!"

"Take that back you insolent fink!"

"I will not you nosey git!"

"Well this isn't going to get us anywhere," the headmaster sighed, "Dippit will you please go and get my Deputy? I hate to do this while he is on vacation, but it's urgent."

"Certainly Severus," Dippit nodded and left his recently crowded frame.

He returned after only a few minutes when the fireplace burst to life and a tall, thin wizard with messy jet black hair, green eyes, and round rimmed glasses stepped out.

"You wished to see me Headmaster," the young man greeted dusting the soot off his robes.

"I did Professor, and I fear you may already know the reason why," Snape said pointing to the empty frame.

"Yes I was aware of the problem this morning when I walked into my library. I was hoping they could work it out themselves," he laughed running a hand through his hair.

"Well, what do you suggest we do Potter," Snape asked? "Well I…,"

"Well what?"

Harry took a look around the room and located all of the family members.

He then took a step toward Dippit's portrait and began a speech he hoped would end the fight.

"Professors Dumbledore will you do me the honor of answering my questions," he asked?

"Certainly," the five chorused.

"Good," he nodded and focused on Albus, "Tell me Professor, why do you love your wife?"

"I love her because she's the only one that can put up with all my quirks. She's smart, beautiful, and has a big heart," he smiled.

"And do you agree that you would do anything for her? Even giving your own life," Harry asked?

"Of course," Albus sighed, "I would do anything for my Tabby."

"And what about you Mark. How do you feel about your mother," Harry asked a young auburn haired man with his father's looks and mother's eyes?

"Mum's the best in the world. She's the nicest and warmest person I've ever met," he replied.

"And would you do anything to make your mother happy," Harry continued?

"Yes I…………………Okay I surrender you've made your point," the man conceded transfiguring his obnoxious bright yellow and purple robes into a pair of modern and elegant dark purple robes.

He then walked back into the family frame and took his place standing in the middle of the chairs.

"Okay we agree to disagree," replied the girls as they transfigured their extremely conservative black robes into more fun and curve fitting dress robes.

They retook their places in the frame; the young green-eyed raven haired witch wearing the red robes sat on the arm of the green chair and the raven haired blue-eyed witch wearing the gold robes sat on the arm of the purple chair.

"We're sorry Mark," they said.

"I'm sorry too, Alaura and Allanah," he sincerely replied.

"A-Albus?"

"Minerva?"

"You first," she blushed if portraits blush.

"Minerva, I-I'm sorry about this whole mess. I promise never to wear this again," he said transfiguring the pink and purple flower covered robes into black dress robes.

"And I promise to let you wear anything but pink and flowers," she laughed changing the boring black robes into light blue robes that had moons and stars swirling around them.

"And I also promise not to be such an uptight prude," she added changing her black teaching robes into a more form fitting and sexier set of emerald green robes.

She also took her hair out of its customary bun as they both made their ways back into the portrait.

"Forgiven?"

"Forgiven," they nodded and shared a sweet kiss while all around the office the other portraits were cheering, and in some cases catcalling; all happy the family was back together and no longer fighting over clothes.

However; there are still other things the Quirky Dumbledores could fight about, but for now they are happy and so is the wizarding world!

Finite!

* * *

It's kind of lame, but I like it.

Review please!!


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